Aug 18, 2011

73. Don't Stress the....Wedding Things

It's frankly daunting...the idea of planning a wedding. There's lists of things to check and double-check. Vendors to vet and then book. Find a dress. Find a hairstylist. And on and on it goes.

It makes sense a lot of women are commonly referred to as "Bridezillas" - the amount of things you have to get in line in order for the wedding day to go off without a hitch can be overwhelming.

First. A piece of advice for everyone who is not the bride...or even the groom. Planning a wedding is stressful.

 To help you - the bride and groom - grip for the months ahead here are a few of the groups of people that will stress you out as well as tips to overcome and remain calm against the odds!

Vendors want your money and your business. You will be tempted to upgrade and design and etc...but you must stay true to what you want.
  • If you have a budget. Stick to it. There's no shame in that.

  • If there are add-on's you simply do not want, make sure you know exactly how and what you want your money to do. Don't be pressured to buying 4 parent's brag photography books when you know your mom & dad would be satisfied with an album you put together. 

  • Get everything you require written down in the contract.

  • Make sure to establish a time line for both contact prior to the wedding and the day of

Bickering Family Members & Friends
It's the worst. You're at a party, enjoying yourself and from the other side of the room the yelling starts. It's the Bickersons' at it again. It's that couple...or those two friends who just cannot seem to keep their tempers under control. It's frustrating...and the idea of them doing this at your wedding is unbearable.
  • Talk to them about it. A lot of articles say to approach them and "ask them not to fight" -- I'm not sure how I feel about this...but I don't think calming talking to the parties involved and asking them to not start a big scene at your wedding can hurt. 

  • Sit them in the back. Sure, it's not the greatest approach...but placing them towards the back of the reception venue may muffle or deter them all together from starting an argument.

  • Seriously consider this - are these the type of people you want at your wedding? Especially if they have done this at other weddings...

Opinionated Friends, Family members...and coworkers
Everyone wants to give you their opinion. Parents, siblings, cousins, friends...hell blogs. But what you must remember - it's your wedding. It's nice at some points to hear of the trials that some people had, get vendor recommendations but if you took everyone's opinion and mixed it get nothing of you and all of them.
  • Make sure to always thank the person.

  • If someone gets to pushy...make sure to remind them - nicely - that while you appreciate their and your fiance have what you want in your mind already.

  • Don't let someones "voice" overshadow yours. If it gets overwhelming be sure to excuse yourself from that person's presence.

  • If someone becomes overly negative or critical...don't let them pull you down. If it becomes to much, sit them down and tell them they are hurting your feelings.

  • Above all, remember that this is not their wedding and you do not "have" to do anything.

Your Parents
Paying for the wedding or not...your parents will definitely be a source of stress. There's just no way to avoid it. 
  • If they are paying for the wedding or contributing any part, it's best to sit down early on in the wedding planning to come up with the best strategy.

  • Coming up with a number of guests to stick to for the maximum as well as different parts of the wedding that are of a high priority to each party.

  • Try to cover the basics with your fiance first and any idea or issue that pops up...don't agree to it until you discuss privately.

  • Give your parents specific tasks for them to feel both involved and control. It will help you by delegating things in the beginning to avoid any complications later.

Each Other
Your partner will undoubtedly be the person of most freak-outs. They will be the person who stresses you out the most...and there is no way to avoid it.  The two complaints you will hear the most is "he doesn't want to do anything with the wedding" or "the wedding is all she can focus on." You must try and remember that this is a critical time...where your true colors will show. Take your time and do this process together.
  • Assign each other to take care of different tasks. It will keep both parties involved and out of the other persons way.

  • Pick a one or two nights a week where it is a "wedding-free night." Ours was Tuesdays. This will be a great night to catch a movie, watch a television show together or just hang out and do nothing.

  • Stick to the budget and the list laid out for you. 

  • Don't do or book anything you think the other may not like

And remember couples, this is supposed to be the happiest day of your life...don't let it ruin everything else you have.

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