Jun 9, 2014

Three Months of Mom

If you would have asked me three months ago what I thought about life with an infant I would have thought I had a vague idea. But the truth is...I had no damn clue what it was like to be mom 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Never getting a sick day, feeling the constant need to hold the baby if she starts crying  or that knee jerk reaction to just hold her when she looks upset. It's hard and it beats the hell out of you, but the truth is. I am so happy being a mom, I get to watch this little person change and grow every day and it's amazing.

The simple fact is that no advice, book or experience with children can possibly prepare for what it's like until the actual day that the baby is born and she/he is put in your arms. I had truly thought that having been an aunt since the small age of 9, I had an upper hand or clue as to what it would be like but I was seriously mistaken.

So here's my story. Like I said, I was very lucky to become an aunt at 9 (no my sibling is not a hoe, she's 15 years older than me) and it has been amazing. My nephy actually just turned 18 this year and it makes me feel mad old. I got to babysit all I want - my sister and brother-in-law had free help (well, free minus the cash for pizza). I had to go to infant CPR class and make sure my parents were within calling distance, but I loved babysitting for my nephew when I was kid. I babysat all the time. I loved it. I lived for hanging out with my sister and her kid.

Flash forward to now. I have 7 nieces and nephews and many friends with kids and frankly, I got cocky. I thought I was ready to be "mom" all day/everyday and I was so wrong.

I was unprepared for the emotional roller coaster that you go on after you have a baby. Everything made me cry - and we were having so many nursing issues that it made me even more upset. My husband would come home everyday to an emotional wreck of a person and it was terrible. No one tells you how HARD it is to get your baby to nurse and the nurses I had at my hospital gave me all different types of advice so when I got home - it sucked. I was a bitch to everyone. Especially my husband. I felt off and the weather was shitty - and I felt like my dog was being left behind and it was making me feel worse.

It was hard. Life was hard. Nursing was hard as balls.

Thankfully I discovered the world of exclusively pumping and baby girl is still getting breastmilk (but that's another story). Once I discovered that I could EP (exclusively pump) - things changed dramatically - but then we thought she had colic - but it was reflux. And then she started to just want to snuggle with mommy all day/everyday. But being a mom is an everyday job. You don't get sick days. You don't get time off for good behavior (like jail) - you are a mom, all the time.

I feel like at this point in time, I have a good grasp on how to be a mom, a good wife, a good dog mommy and still prepare dinner. Who knows if that will change again in a month or a week - but right now. In this moment, I love my little life and I feel at peace.


Motherhood is tough. It's probably the toughest thing anyone will ever do - and it's made worse by mommy wars. Everyone gets sad. Everyone has bad days - but the bad days will balance out the good ones. You will constantly feel like you are not doing a good job and text friends (good friends.) You will judge and be judged but I feel like if you remember that no one knows that they're doing and to take it one day at a time. It will slowly get better. But ladies if it doesn't - don't be afraid to ask for help.

And now, some of the best of the lists of the web about "things they don't tell before you become a parent"...

From Huffington Post...

2. You will sleep again, but it will never be the same. 
For the rest of your natural life, you will sleep with one ear to your door and you will be able to discern the nighttime goings on in your house better than any CIA agent with night vision goggles. With both eyes closed and in REM sleep, you will know that your son is sleepwalking and that your daughter needs Tylenol. It's an amazing phenomenon, really.
3. Sick leave does NOT come with the job. 
You will sign permission forms with your head in the toilet, you will plan PTA parties doped up on pain killers after oral surgery and you will have a husband who asks you to get the dry cleaning when you are laying on the floor half dead with the flu. The management does NOT care one iota about your health. Best to come to terms with this one now.
8. Every single product on the market can hurt your child if you believe the hype.
From BPAs to GMOs to free range and everything in between, everyone has an opinion. Throw in pesticides, lead, high fructose corn syrup and Dr. Oz and you have one crazy, confusing arena in which to raise healthy kids. Do the best that you can, save the judgment of others and refer to item #1 above. No one knows what they are talking about and only you know what's right for your family. And if people judge you because you occasionally eat bright orange mac and cheese with a chaser of red Kool Aid, so be it.

5. Outfit changes have less to do with photo shoots and more to do with explosive crapping. 
9. If you want to get on my good side then skip the cards and flowers and bring me some ready-to-eat food...I will love you forever 
10. Everyone will give you lots of unsolicited and bad parenting advice - "Oh, let a two day old cry it out? That's great thanks" ::shaking my head::

From Buzzfeed...

8. You will eat 95% of your meals either incredibly fast or with one hand. Or both.

9. You’ll basically become a ninja.

When you need something from the baby’s room late at night you’ll be able to slip in and out without upending a feather.

16. Folding kid and baby clothes is torture.

21. Something you love will get ruined.

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