No matter what stage of life you are in, there will undoubtedly be people with opinions - whether you ask for advice and whether it's advice that you want. In the realm of moms, you have no idea what you are up against until you are actually in it. Breastmilk vs Formula, Cloth vs Disposable diapers, CIO vs AP and the list goes on and on. Granted I've only been a month for less than 6 months but truly - and it frankly disgusts me the amount of fighting, making moms feeling bad about each other (sanctimommy-ing), and boasting about how great of a parent they are.
I've always felt like in my life, I've incurred more opinions that a lot of people based on my life choices and things that have happened to me. When I was 14 my brother passed away, and someone actually uttered the phrase "aren't you over that by now? My brother died when I was 1 and I'm fine." When I married a Jew - we lost the priest a few weeks before the wedding over paperwork. When we chose to get our daughter both Christened and receive her Hebrew baby name - I know we were judged for trying to figure out how to do both. And now, just recently I blasted for getting my daughter's ears pierced. Why do we spend the energy to judge harshly others decisions?
As the mommy wars rage on, I am constantly perplexed and amazed by how little slack we cut each other as women. We see disapproval in the eyes of other mothers when we say how long we breastfed (Too long? Not long enough?), or whether we have decided to go back to work versus stay home. Is it not hard enough to attempt to raise children thoughtfully, while contributing something, or bringing home some (or more) of the bacon? Why do we feel so entitled to opine, often so negatively, on the choices of other women? Perhaps because there is so much pressure to do it all, and do it all well all at the same time (impossible). - Gwyneth Paltrow
Over the next few weeks I will be getting into some of the topics that plague the mommy wars, why they rage on and lastly, my thoughts on how we can stop it.
“The smug sense of superiority that comes from denigrating another mother’s values can be very seductive,” says Judith Stadtman Tucker of The Mothers Movement Online, a national organization for mothers to discuss social change. “Over and over again, that’s exactly where mothers get hung up.” -via